I am Jesus

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Phew! It’s hard work trying to be *like* Jesus. Even harder work trying to actually *be* Jesus.

But at last! I’ve joined the exclusive Messiah Complex Club. My Christ delusion is complete.

I’m the latest in a long list of poor deluded fools to join the ranks.

But this time is different.

I’m the first person who thinks he’s Jesus who has logical proof to back the claim!

Here’s my argument.

(P1) I am the light of the world. – John 8:12

(P2) You are the light of the world. – Matthew 5:14

Therefore, (C) I am you and you are me.

So there you have it. Deductive proof that I am Jesus and Jesus is me. It’s a valid argument, which is to say, the conclusion follows from the premises. The premises cannot both be true and the conclusion false. And it’s sound. The premises are true. Take my Word for it.

It’s a Rock solid argument against which even the gates of Hell shall not prevail.

as ever: what is to be done?

I can do nothing without myself. I don’t know what you think you can do. (Just kidding. I read your mind. And your email.) But here are some ideas.

(1) Humour me. (Please don’t point out that I don’t have enough hair to be Jesus. That’s just cruel.)

(2) Medicate me. (Just send me the drugs. Contact me privately and I’ll give you the address.)

(3) Appeal to the last vestiges of reason in my poor deluded fool mind. (I’m probably still more rational than you’ve ever been.)

The last one’s your best shot IMOO.

This entry was posted in Humour, Jesus FTW!, John, Logic, Matthew, Personal Identity, Slayer. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to I am Jesus

  1. reed says:

    Now you’re being an egg. šŸ™‚

  2. Richard says:

    So that was (1). šŸ™‚

    Don’t mind if you skip (2) under the circumstances. šŸ˜‰

    What’s wrong with my argument? (3) I don’t actually know. (I don’t really think I’m Jesus, of course. But the argument seems to prove that I am. I’ll maintain this particular contradiction indefinitely if I have to … but I’d sooner resolve it in an ungodly way.)

    Give it your best shot.

  3. Richard says:

    Whatā€™s wrong with my argument? I figured it out. I’m not Jesus, after all. Thank God for that!

  4. BlairM says:

    Don’t look now, but you left Sola Scriptura bleeding on the floor with that one.

  5. Richard says:

    LOL, Blair! She’ll be right.

  6. Richard says:

    the-judgment-seat-of-christ

    I pass judgment on no one. – John 8:15

    If to maintain a contradiction is to abdicate oneā€™s mind and to evict oneself from the realm of reality, what is it to maintain an entire list?

    It’s fun to find contradictions in the Bible. It’s more fun to resolve them.

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